The enneagram is a very popular and accurate tool used to self evaluate and grow as an individual person. There are many social media pages and books about this topic. If you are new to the enneagram, and are wondering what it is, head over to What is the Enneagram. I summarize how it works there.

Let’s dive into what it looks like to be an enneagram four. You might have been told that you are an enneagram four by a friend or online quiz. Or you could have been connecting with images you’ve seen on social media. Take a look at the enneagram four and see how you relate.

Characteristics of The Enneagram Four

The enneagram four is known by a few different names. Those names are the artist, the romantic, or the individualist. Richard Rohr (author of The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective) says, “Beauty for the type four is a religious experience.” These people are unique. They are one of a kind. And that is all they want to be. They love raw authenticity. Each person has an authentic fingerprint. The enneagram four sees that authentic significance in everything and everyone around them. Yet, they do not always see it in themselves. They have an incredible imagination. And can be envious of how they see others. But they struggle with taking action on their imaginative ideas. They love deep and meaningful conversations. When thinking, they enjoy it when you ask questions and process things through with them.

They can be particular about things. Everything should be said with the correct wording. Or they may want the atmosphere of a room to feel a specific way. They are also very self critical. Having an idealized version of how they should be in their head. While being unable to make that their reality.

Enneagram fours struggle with feeling misunderstood. They fantasize about having someone in their life who will understand them. They can sometimes withdraw. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong. They have the ability to sit in melancholy comfortably.

Basic Desire and Basic Fear

The basic desire for an enneagram four is to have an individual significance. They want to find themselves and their purpose. This can’t look like anyone else. They are not satisfied with the purpose of humanity. It has to be specific. It has to be for only them.

The basic fear for an enneagram four is to be insignificant. To have no identity. This causes them to see themselves as defective. They do not see a purpose in being one of the many or part of the crowd. Without significance, there is not point to living.

Security and Stress

Every enneagram number takes on different characteristics when they feel secure or stressed. They will move towards specific numbers depending on their core number. It is important to note that going to either of these numbers is not considered good or bad. But awareness of this movement can help you self assess the state you are in.

When an enneagram four is secure they take on characteristics of the enneagram one. That means that their life would have more structure. They are more organized. They are able to turn their imaginative ideas into reality. Others can rely on them, because they have more self-discipline. And they can be practical. Not just emotional.

In stress, the enneagram four takes on characteristics of the enneagram two. In this state they can become more overbearing. They will be doing their best to please other people. They will make more sacrifices and deny their own needs. This creates pride and neediness inside the four.

Wings

An enneagram four can have two wings. The enneagram three and the enneagram five. Wings are the numbers right next to the core enneagram number. It is possible to pull from these numbers at any time.

The enneagram four with a three wing is more extroverted. They are more competitive. They’re more emotionally volatile. And they like to be in a crowd of people. They can be more ambitious. Going after personal goals. And they are concerned more with her image.

An enneagram four with a five wing tends to be a little more reserved. They’re more likely to keep to themselves. They are more intellectual. So they like to think about things to an extreme depth. They are more withdrawn. And they are more observant.

Conclusion

I love how the enneagram four brings such an extreme level of depth to a relationship. They not only know how they feel, but they are great at knowing how others feel as well. And they can clarify those feelings for others. They can create an atmosphere for emotional healing through their own emotional intelligence. Everything they want is centered around connection. They want to know you. And want you to know them. What is important for an enneagram four to remember is that there is more than only being understood. Love can look different than that. They can also benefit from finding the gratitude for both the joy and the sorrow in the world.

For more information, I suggest a resource written for the enneagram four. Like this one. I also highly suggest The Road Back to You. I will post these resources below.