The enneagram is a very popular and accurate tool used to self evaluate and grow as an individual person. There are many social media pages and books about this topic. If you are new to the enneagram, and are wondering what it is, head over to What is the Enneagram. I summarize how it works there.

Let’s dive into what it looks like to be an enneagram two. You might have been told that you are an enneagram two by a friend or online quiz. Or you could have been connecting with images you’ve seen on social media that discuss the enneagram two. Let’s take a look at the enneagram two and see how you relate.

Characteristics of the Enneagram Two

The Enneagram two is called a few different names. They are called the companion, the helper, the pleaser, or the caretaker. Enneagram twos are very good at helping other people and knowing what people need . They can be very caring and devoted. They can sense the needs of others very easily. Flattery gets them everywhere, because they are so good at it. They seek love through self-sacrifice. Meaning that they will always do things for other people to feel loved. The biggest thing for a two is relationship. They want to have relationships with people. Because they give so much, they can be resentful when taken advantage of.

An enneagram two seeks to be desired. Because of this they can be very people pleasing. Their goal on the surface is to be liked. But their true desire is to be loved. A two can become resentful if they feel that no one is considering them to the extent they consider others. This may cause them to manipulate others into meeting their desires. It can be difficult for an Enneagram two to know their true personal needs beyond being loved.

Basic Desire and Basic Fear

The basic desire of the Enneagram two is to be accepted. They want to know that they are easy to love. Their desire goes beyond love. More than that they want to be liked and wanted.

The basic fear of an enneagram two is being unwanted. Any sort of rejection can feel as if they aren’t worthy of a relationship. They need to feel as though they are needed. If they aren’t needed, then they have a fear of being dispensable. Because of this, an enneagram two may adapt or change who they appear to be to feel love from others.

Security and Stress

Every enneagram number takes on different characteristics when they feel secure or stressed. They will move towards specific numbers depending on their core number. It is important to note that going to either of these numbers is not considered good or bad. But awareness of this movement can help you self assess the state you are in.

Enneagram two in security can take on characteristics of the enneagram four. That helps them to become more self-aware of how exactly they’re feeling. They are more authentic to their true selves. This may cause them to be less flattering and more honest. They are also very supportive of those that they are in relationship with.

When the enneagram two is in stress they take on characteristics of the enneagram eight. Their pride in their self sacrificing comes from this movement. They can get more aggressive and deny their own needs. They may also become skeptical of the motives of others. They can become controlling, wanting everything to be exactly the way they say it should be.

Wings

An enneagram two can have two wings. The enneagram one and the enneagram three. Wings are the numbers right next to the core enneagram number. It is possible to pull from these numbers at any time.

An enneagram two with a one wing is more idealistic and reasonable. They are more organized. They have to ability to be more objective. But they can also be more self critical and judgmental. These are the more quiet servers. Not so outgoing.

An enneagram two with a three wing are more self-assured. They have more confidence in a crowd. This is where they get a lot of their more charming attributes from. They might have more drive and are more ambitious and competitive.

Conclusion

I love the heart behind the enneagram two. I love how much they love people. These people are the ones known for wearing their heart on their sleeve. They give and give out of the goodness inside of them. They do this with relationships in mind. It is important for them to learn what true love and relationships look like. Self sacrifice does not always equal love. An enneagram two would have you come over, make you a hot chocolate, and feed you cookies. They do a great job of taking care of those they love. It’s beautiful.

For more information on the enneagram, I will list helpful resources below.