My name is Destrea. I have brown hair. My eyes are blue. These are the things that I know about myself. They are the facts. They are truth. When I look in a mirror I recognize my face. We learn to do this as a baby. There is an amazing moment when a baby looks in a mirror and recognizes that face as their own. We have all gone through this as part of our development. We know who we are. At least we think we know who we are.
But who are we really?
When looking into a mental mirror, at what point do we recognize who we are? What is the typical age that we are suppose to know our passions, desires, and fears? Identity is a tricky thing to learn. There are so many other factors that can influence our thoughts. When do we actually know ourselves?
There was a time in my life that I could not tell you my favorite kind of music. When asked what my favorite was I would respond with “All of it.” That is true. I do enjoy listening to all styles of music. I always have. There has never been a time in my life that I wanted someone to change a song, because I did not like that style of music. I can appreciate heavy metal screaming, but I can also sing along to many country songs. This white girl can beast at some rap! (not really…but I have fun with it) Sadly, when it came to my favorite, my main style of music usually depended on a new guy or new friend in my life. Whatever style of music they liked was the genre I found myself listening to on a daily basis.
The search for me
This same pattern slowly moved into every part of my life. I cut my hair short, because a friend told me they liked short hair better. My style of clothing depended on who I was around most. By the time I was 20, there were not many things in my life that I could say I really knew that I liked. It was like in Runaway Bride. In the movie the main character did not know how she liked her eggs. She did not realize it was a big deal until someone pointed it out to her. Her “favorite” style of eggs always depended on her boyfriend’s favorite style. At one point she went off on her own and tried every style of eggs until she found the one that SHE liked. That is kind of what I had to do. When I looked into that mental mirror I had no idea what I was looking at. I did not know my favorite kind of music, much less my true desires and joys.
I had to do some self searching. It was time for me to figure out what my own interests were. Somehow over the years I had lost myself. How could anyone ever really know who I was when I didn’t even know who I was? As I talk to more girls, I realize too many of us are there. If you could block out everyone else’s opinions and expectations, then what would you like? How would you act? What jokes would make you laugh? What moments in life would break your heart?
It took work and self discipline, but now I know a lot about who I am. I love the cheesy 90’s Christian music. I will rock out to that all day. Yes, I sill listen to all sorts of genres, but when it came down to my absolute favorite, that was it. DC Talk and Carman are two artist that will forever and always be on my IPod. I like my hair long. One day I may dye it blonde, but for now I really like it dark. I do not like to drive, but I love to take road trips. I really enjoy the simple things in life. My favorite holiday is New Years. The blue Christmas lights make me smile. I love Texas with my whole heart. Pearls are some of my favorite jewelry. I love to look at deep brown eyes. I find them absolutely beautiful! These were some of my new insights.
I believe it is important for every girl to separate herself from other thoughts and opinions. Figure out what you like to do and what you enjoy having. Someone won’t be able to enjoy a pursuit of you if there is nothing there to discover. After you know what you like, look deeper. Discover who you really are and develop into being the best you.