I grew up in church. My parents have always thought that it was important to go. In my family there was no skipping church. Some of my friends wouldn’t go to church, because they were sick. I would be sick in the sound booth. We planned our vacations so that we were back home by Sunday. If we weren’t in town on a Sunday, then we were visiting another church somewhere else. My parents stressed to me that it was very important to go to church. By the age of 12 I was at church 5 days a week. Lately, someone asked me why I go. We know the Christian answer. We go to be with fellow believers to worship God and encourage one another to grow in Christ. My friend stopped me and asked me again. He asked why do I go to church. Me. Destrea. This girl. When I thought honestly to myself all I could think was “because I always have. I’m not allowed to leave.”

Whoa. That is kind of heartbreaking. I’m not allowed to leave. Will God strike me dead if I leave? Probably not. Do I feel like God wants me to quit going? No, I don’t. However, I do feel like He wants me to know why I am going. He does not care what the “right” answer is. He wants to know why I am going to church. I know I am not alone in this. There are several people that go to church because it is the “right thing to do”. Why is it the right thing to do?

Is it church or a country club?

There is definitely a church culture. I can’t say I agree with everything in every church. I wish I felt comfortable enough to cry in church. Sometimes I do, but a lot of times I do not. There are so many people watching everyone else. What if they thought I was weak? Or worse, what if they thought I was less than perfect? That’s the real issue isn’t it? We don’t want to let other people in the church know that our lives have ugly spots. When you have a group of people who aren’t willing to be vulnerable, then it becomes a social event. Church is not meant to be a country club.

A mentor of mine has been telling me that it is very important to have someone pouring into you and for you to be pouring into someone else. I get that. I’ve actually heard that a lot in many different circumstances. Women have been doing that for years with things like cooking and sewing. You learn from other people, and you also learn when you teach people. Church is not supposed to be the place I go to be sure I am growing. It is not to have like minded people agreeing with everything you are saying and believing. Most of the growing closer to God should be happening on your own. That is supposed to be happening when you are alone spending time with God. To put it bluntly, where you are with God is really only between you and God, not the church.

Church is to have someone pouring into you and for you to be pouring into someone else. It is to find others who will help you question things and ask the hard questions with. Church is to have people that you can turn to for guidance and encouragement. It is also a place for people to worship God together. I will say that there is something special about a group of people worshipping God as one. Do you have to go to church to get that? No, you don’t. But where is a better place to find it?